I’ve been struggling to resolve an increasing polarization within myself. It’s a reflection of the world around me, which isn’t a surprise. On one end is the desire to take up a weapon to protect myself and loved ones, and to punish those who want to kill that which is precious. This end sees the world as dark, and dangerous.
On the other end is the overpowering, soul-deep knowing that I need to hold, with all my imperfect puny power, the center – which is Divine Love. This end sees the world as miraculous, beautiful beyond all knowing.
I feel caught between the two, pulled equally in both directions. It becomes more and more agonizing as time goes on.
Humans have always done what we’re doing now. Always. Life was just as perilous to our ancestors as it is now. They thought the Black Plague was the end of the world. They thought the raiders from the next village who tortured and burned and killed were their greatest perils. The only difference between then and now is, as they say, the size of the toys.
How can we do this differently? It’s not just that we have to because the toys are so much bigger. You can get just as annihilated as a small village put to the torch as you can if someone drops a nuclear bomb on you. (Remember that view of the end of the world?) Yet each time we are confronted with a Great War, we have a unique opportunity to learn to live without fear, to instead walk in the Divine Light that is really who we are. We have this opportunity now.
Like the Yin Yang symbol where the seed of Yin lives within Yang and the seed of Yang lives within Yin, the seeds of violence are within peace, and the seeds of peace are within violence. There are people who, for many reasons, choose to live a life that holds violence, just as there are people who choose to live a life that holds peace. Within each of them is the seed of the other. It’s vital that we remember that, because that is our point of connection.
I’d love to know that we could go to a peaceful, harmonious world in the snap of a (my) finger. Since that won’t happen, I (the Peacelover within) needs the Warrior to protect. I (the Warrior within) needs the Peacelover to make sure there is integrity in the protection.
I recognize that there is an attraction between the two that holds them together, preventing such polarization that Yin and Yang will separate. It is a Divine Axis between Heaven and Earth. In the tension between the two is the flow, the Qi, that is where life happens, life in all its messy, glorious, challenging, sublime way. The Peacelover knows this; so does the Warrior.
As agonizing as it is to live in that tension, my internal world – like my external world – will shift back and forth as it struggles to find balance. Always. This is life. For now, I choose to weight the end of the Peacelover, and acknowledge that I can do that because of the Warrior. You, the Warrior, need me to help you stay true to your integrity, just as I, the Peacelover, need the Warrior to provide safety.
I need you, Warrior, and you need me. We need each other. It’s as simple and as deeply profound as that.