And yet I know that lingering on things that have negative or disgusting or abhorrent vibes simply sends more energy to those things. Then they grow and gain power. I allow them to gain power in my life, over my mind.
Sometimes it freaks me out when I realize that sharing my horror with others who feel as I do – and allowing it more power in my mind while they allow it in theirs – amplifies that power. In the Sixties, when we prayed for The Revolution, did we create what we have now? There sure were a lot of us all over the world who wanted to see big change. I think we forgot that revolutions are almost always bloody.
Mother Teresa said ‘I’ll never attend an anti-war rally; if you have a peace rally, invite me’. She was saying she wanted to put her energy into peace, be pro-peace, not anti-war. Wise, wise woman. I don’t know how hard it was for her to hold to the pro- rather than the anti-, but it’s hard for me and I really want to do it.
I think all the work I’ve done over the years to feel positive, to attract the beautiful, to feel the joy and wonder of life was really about going to the peace rally, not the anti-war rally. Being against things always always always makes be feel terrible. My stomach clenches, my jaw gets tight, I start (unconsciously) looking for someone to fight with, and I watch eagle-eyed for those people who are out to get me. Blech. I don’t want to live like that. Really don’t.
I don’t deny that there is the awful, the ugly, the painful. I’m just trying to train myself to a different reaction when those things intrude. I think it’s ok to think ‘I don’t want that’; in fact, I’m pretty sure I’ll have that reaction as long as the awful exists. I just don’t want to linger in the anger and grief, I don’t want to be attached to those emotions that are a response to the awful. I want to choose something different to see and feel, though sometimes that’s hard to do.
To those who feel we have to push back against the injustices of the world, who say ‘Look what happened to those who stood with open hearts to meet evil’, I say: they were only one at a time. What would happen, do you think, if we all did that? Just got our minds, our justifications of our arguments, our evidence of wrongdoing out of the picture, and just simply were the open heart, all of us – or even most of us… what would happen?
We’ve certainly been trying the push-back way (over and over, for centuries, and isn’t that a sign of insanity? repeating the same thing expecting a different outcome?). How’s that been working? Isn’t there something different we could try?